The stars shone down on me inquisitively as if we’d met before, & I knew we had. The damp night breeze was the same that had blown across my pillow as a child. I started to worry. I worry that my will to survive might shrink & age here. I got a call from my father – the father who was absent from my childhood. His voice was hoarse & croaky, as though he hadn’t spoken since I last saw him. I'm terrified of the monsters that slither in my mind & heart. The amount of concentration it takes to keep from exploding in anger or fits of hysterical misery is astonishing. In my dreams I unleash my true insanity. I dread the day that will come forth in my future. Near or far. But, Until then, I can only wait.