I have a story I wish to tell.


I missed a freakin' bus today & walked four stops home, damn sun driving me nuts. I like it better when it's cooling, but long walks somehow makes me remember everything worthwhile in my life. & I'm happy, for once. Walking home today, it made me remember how much laughter I’d had in a classroom where laughter is plenty. & while sitting in the front row which I really hate, just one glance behind complete our smiling faces with a friend who always makes me laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine, & it's so true.
If this is how it is going to be forever, I want no part of it.
For you don't care so I'm not your concern.
Knowing I can't do anything,
just to stop the final blow
.
You've ruined things.
It's not me.
READ MORE - I have a story I wish to tell.

At the loss of a man of many years.



I know that I had already mourned about my grandpa, it hit me hard at the time I was told he was gone. The only thing I could think about is that I never talked to him enough. But now I’m starting to remember all the memories I had with him. You left behind so little memories, yet still you are so dear to me. You told me not to smoke, never will I give a deaf ear to your words. Never, never ever.
Cancer killed you, that's a shame.
Now, at least, you feel no pain.
Although it was not someone's fault,
Still I grieved my dire lose.
But strong am I to still move on,
For nothing comes back once it's gone.
READ MORE - At the loss of a man of many years.

All dressed up with nowhere to go.



Dear _,
I've been dying to ask you something that's burning in ma mind.
Poor grades, Bad weather, Evil teachers, Traitor friends, Sleepless nights, Annoying bugs, Boredom & alot more crazy things. School's shit 'cuse I hate waking up in the morning to go to school. Uhhh Live with it. But I guess it's the worst torture we'll ever endure in our entire life. No teachers give a break on babbling 'bout the N's & O's. PUL-LEEZE All in all, I really wish those god-damn teachers would give us a freakin' break. Schools don't educate, they teach us to fear. I speak to a friend & I'm punished for that. Please stop letting the popular kids get away with everything.
Math class. Hate it. Are we seriously EVER going to use Algebra? Learning materials that we'll never use, it's such a waste of time & effort. Some classes just plain suck. School is a punishment wayyyy too cruel. This stupid horrible place.
That made you mad, such sweet rapture to me.
Why do you feel you have to hate me?
I hate this weird situation, & I just wna disappear.
Stop being so naïve
, go & get a life.
I keep thinking it over, it replays itself in my mind. You're going too far, you're damaging your soul. I just don't get it, how well do I really know you? I'm not sure what you're thinking & I don't know what to say.
My thoughts just keep on changing, I'm sorry I can't help it
, my mind is full of doubt.
READ MORE - All dressed up with nowhere to go.

Now blundering falls & morbid display,

Today I feel totally exhausted. There's no time for everything. You can call us ugly. You can call us silly. But you can't change who we are. So what's wrong with that?
You've been on my mind. Quite frankly, you're heavy. Get off. My melancholy thoughts pollute my mind. People talk & I try to listen, never mind the fact that I love eavesdropping. I don't want the ordinary life back. Some feelings cannot be controlled - it's not your fault no matter how you feel. My imagination was running wild.
READ MORE - Now blundering falls & morbid display,

When life has lost its zeal.


With you, I learned that happiness is short-lived. I think I was the only one who noticed your smile was fake. Since meeting you, I finally understand the meaning of "I'm not pessimistic, I'm realistic." You always preferred the sad movies. I asked why, & you said it seems more real because not everyone's life will have a happy ending. You were convinced that yours would be one of the ones ending in tragedy. When you were asleep you looked different. Much differnt when you were awake. Wen you were awake it seemed like you were trying too hard to be someone else. I just liked the feeling of summer air & you. Nothing is really something afterall. I wished I could soak in your magical presence a while longer. I miss the way I was grinning when I was six, when life was good. You brought back childhood memories I didn't even know I had. I'm being tested, my will & my heart. I couldn't buy myself a phone call, even with a million dollars. You wrote me lies. Like the summer months, you never stick around long enough to make a lasting impression. The only way I made it through was remembering that you're only another calender away. I'd write you every word ever in the Oxford dictionary, if only one would spark a memory. I was the only one who noticed that love just explode in a shimmery mist of magic, forgotten moments later. I don't want to be forgotten. Please don't ever think that all these has got to do with my life. I'm getting a lil' frustrated at both gender. But trying to impress you, to make you smile is more work than one would think. I feel like to make you happy is harder than making myself happy. Not true.
READ MORE - When life has lost its zeal.

I’m a complete wreck without you here.

I don't ever want you to leave.
Please don't be just a memory.
Since all is fair in love & war.
We never know just what's in store.
So will you be my valentine?
For always & forever.
Just for you baby, just for you.
READ MORE - I’m a complete wreck without you here.

Like a wisp of smoke & forgotten candy wrapper.


Add ImageNobody ever reads them. Little meaningless heartshape box. Shitless love cards for the chosen ones. Red roses for the fallen ones. Chocolate late nights for the weak souls. Heartaches & heartbreakers are born here tonight. Fuck V-day. It was too late for sparks to fly. I was willing to run, change my life & have some fun. I name my pet fish after you & scribble gibberish on the walls. It rings true like a bitter bitter realization. Walking past street art & looking at the cement. I find myself relating to it on an eerie level. Today was a year too late.
READ MORE - Like a wisp of smoke & forgotten candy wrapper.

In a world that's prejudiced, acting like life is just a script.

Hatey hate MA NAKED NAILS.

READ MORE - In a world that's prejudiced, acting like life is just a script.

You took my life away, in the most twisted way.


You were the kind of beautiful that was vanishing. Like patterns in the sky & lines of happiness etched into your soul. Magical moments that are always there but not always felt. You were the kind of dream that I never want to wake up from. You were a pile of questions & I never have the answers, & I spent all of my being on you, & now I have nothing left for myself.
Good ole Daddy hell loves to put the records on. I listen to records all night to wake the morning & truth is, I don't love it at all 'cuse there's this lousy speaker in ma house that plays fuzzy music which is ultra big fat simply plain annoying. Byebye 'm outta here.
READ MORE - You took my life away, in the most twisted way.

Six hours of writing & a lot of caffeine.

Amber oh Amber.
I had a bad dream & couldn't get it out of my head, over-sentimental at three in the morning.
The rain fell in heart-shaped drops last night. I wish it really did rain hearts. Why does it have to fall on this beautiful day? If I ever learn anything from this, our lives would be a bliss. I've realized this on the many nights on which I cannot sleep. It's terrible to think I know it then. Keep it up, Sweetie, & you might just get what you want. A compliment tucked inside of an insult. Don't give me the stare behind the curtain of hair. Have you ever felt like giving up? Like you're the gum stuck on someone's shoe, & they only want to be rid off you?
READ MORE - Six hours of writing & a lot of caffeine.