In this life I live two lives.I. Did. It.
I robbed a bank.
I mean.. Throwing things down into a pit of fire. I believe they have a word for this these days. I prefer to think of it as the other way.
Should I even study though it isn't one least bit interesting at all? My grades are total shits I think I've completely given up & not even trying at all. Day in day out, I'm lying. Why carry out this futile task of life? Why are some people so happy while others so miserable? Thse terrible thoughts keep popping into my head. I’ve done a pretty good job at dealing so far. But when does enough become enough? Everyone shows me how worthless I am, HELLO, don’t they think I know this already?? :@ I'm just proving to everyone what I've been hiding. I'm tired of running a race with no finishing line.
Jumping back to my original position always kills the moment. No doubt I'm doing that again. Firstly. I'm going to get dressed. Intriguing. I hate the way you look at me. Stop it. Stop it. You said a painful & murderous no, but thn a few days later you wanted to give it another go. I was over the moon so full of joy, but before that week was up I figured it was already a NO. If I keep this up, I'll be old & dying. Or perhaps old enough to be a little happy? Not certain if I should start running away as far as I could & again, I will be running from myself as well. Still, thse fears will keep me going & shall lead me leaving from this place that I was never ever understood. I shall run away in disgrace. I know I can't save myself. I can't tell the difference between my fantasy & the harsh reality. You have the power to ruin or make my day. I can't help it. It almost doesn't seem fair. Influenced by you. How so? Seems like everything was just for show. Must plan a depart. Have you seen my true colours?